So you want to be a Shinobi?
by Viperflamer
Summary: Greatness comes in all shapes and sizes. In Naruto's case, that shape and size in that of a little black book... NaruHarem, Lemons later on. And lots and lots of pervy humor. Super Naruto, slightly bakaNaruto as well. But all for fun..


So you want to be a Shinobi?

Author's notes: _Read or die_……………..is a strange anime.

* * *

_Great men aren't born, but made. Through trials of fire and life, they will stand above the rest. For some,__ this greatness becomes obvious; coming with rather unpracticed ease. As for others, well…_

"IS THIS A JOKE NARUTO!!!"

_…their greatness needs a push in the right direction. _

"What's wrong with it!?" yelled out a deformed looking old man. His nose was overly pronounced and his lip was jutting a good three inches out, with a depth of about an inch. The eyes were large and buggish, with black rings beneath them.

"What's wrong with it! WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT!" yelled out a chunnin sensei. He had a spiked pony tail at the top of his head, and a large scar across the brim of his nose.

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID, NOW TELL ME!" yelled Naruto, under the guise of the..uh…thing?

"THAT looks nothing like the third Hokage!" shouted the Chunnin.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, we're doing the third Hokage…I was trying to transform into you Iruka-sensei."

Iruka's mouth hit the ground and he looked ready to cry. "Just…go back to your seat Naruto." said the man. The class was erupting into laughter.

The blonde was embarrassed but hid it beneath a grin.

This was Uzumaki Naruto, dobe of the Academy of Konoha; a hopeless idiot with big dreams and no talent. No one ever would expect anything great from the boy, especially with the impossible obstacles he was facing every day of his life.

But on that day, that perfectly ordinary day, things were going to change for him.

* * *

Class ended with the usual lecture from Iruka. Naruto tried to pay attention, but found himself grow quickly bored with the teacher's manner of speech. It was dull, and while not monotonous it sounded very textbook…Naruto hated textbooks. 

The bell rang and the younglings all sprinted for the door. It seemed rather strange to think they would all become killers one day…well, most of them would be.

Iruka scowled at their backs for leaving so quickly. He didn't think his lectures were _that _bad. Naruto was the last to leave, something that surprised the Chunnin instructor. The boy almost seemed to be waiting for something. A few seconds later, Iruka found out what it was.

"Um, Iruka-sensei." Said Naruto with an embarrassed look on his face. His eyes were downcast, and he seemed to be favoring his left foot. "Can I ask you something?"

Iruka gave a moment's pause before walking over to the boy. "What is it?" he eyed the blonde suspiciously, not ruling out the possibility of some stupid prank.

"What am I doing wrong…"

That surprised Iruka quite a bit. In all his time teaching the boy, he never once heard such a serious question come from his mouth.

"With what, the Henge?" asked Iruka.

"Everything." Responded Naruto.

Iruka did his best to look thoughtful for a moment, choosing his words carefully. He had a gut feeling that if he approached this the wrong way, it could turn out very bad.

"It's not that you are doing anything wrong Naruto…" stated Iruka. He already started beating himself up for opening this way. Telling the kid right off the bat that there was nothing wrong would only make him question why it wasn't right. "Its just that…well you are still so young and not everyone can summon their chakra properly right away."

"But…but everyone else can do it!" defended Naruto. His eyes looked surprisingly shaken. Iruka found himself growing nervous; the conversation was definitely not going well.

"But you are not everyone else, Naruto…you are you." stated Iruka. Naruto calmed a little at those words. Iruka was finally finding some ground to work with. "Practice hard, and don't give up…I'm sure you'll get it eventually."

Despite Iruka's words, Naruto didn't look fully convinced. "Thanks…Iruka-sensei." Naruto turned to leave, his hands immediately being shoved in his pockets.

"Hey Naruto!" Iruka called out. The boy gave a moments paused. He turned to the teacher his eyes looked slightly glazed over. Was he on the verge of tears? "Officially, teachers aren't allowed to give their students extra help with the Academy's curriculum…"

It was shinobi law throughout all of the hidden villages. The teachers could show the students the correct way, and explain it in depth, but if the student simply could not get it, then it was not the teacher's job to make it work. The idea behind this line of thinking was, that those who couldn't even develop the basics on their own would not develop as Shinobi. After all, it wasn't about producing the same type of shinobi over and over again, but having the shadow evolve to new heights.

"However, I'm sure a place as simple as a library will do wonders for you." Stated Iruka.

Naruto looked down at this, not saying anything. The boy left, as Iruka gathered his things.

* * *

Naruto monitored the library from a distance. His orange clad form, safely hidden behind the leaves of a tree. It was just passed mid day, giving Naruto a couple of hours before the library closed. He watched the various people walk in and out of the building. Briefly he wished for such a privilege. He had tried to walk in once, only to be shooed away by the head librarian. It hadn't bothered him much at first, but with the growing need for knowledge that was not available in his academy text book, the situation had turned dire. 

He'd tried using a Henge to get inside the building once, only to have his deformed ass thrown out on the curb. He cursed the fact that the head librarian had been a shinobi…not that it would take a shinobi to recognize Naruto's version of a Henge.

Naruto jumped from the tree and rolled on the grass below. He'd at least picked up _som__e__thing_ from his time in the Academy.

He ran behind bushes, keeping his body low. He was slowly gaining ground on the Library. He smiled to himself, as he leaned against the stone wall. There was an open window a few feet above him. With the devils grace, he jumped up and grabbed hold of the window ledge. Hoisting himself up; it wasn't long before he was in the building.

"That was so easy!" he said to himself with a laugh. He looked around a bit, and then blinked. "This is the library…"

Naruto was in a dark room, lit only by the light outside. It was large….very large; larger then the boy would have guessed possible, given the size of the Library from outside. And once more, it was empty. The young boy looked high and low for even the smallest sign of a bookshelf, or even a book for that matter.

_"Wow…__guess__ I wasn't missing much."_ He thought to himself with a disappointed frown. He looked for the door, only to grow more confused. The room was a box, with only one window; and said window appeared to be the only form of entrance and exist.

The blond sighed, and figured he'd just look for another way into the library, that didn't involve this room. He turned back towards the window, only to pause. He did a double take behind him and spotted a lone book.

The book sat upon a pedestal, light from the outside spotting on it. It shocked Naruto that he could have missed it. He moved towards it with hesitance in his steps. He felt strange about the situation.

The book itself looked rather ordinary, if not plain. It was pure black, and from what Naruto could see…lacked a title.

He was finally only inches away from the pedestal. His blonde mopped head leaned in to examine the book. He got a creepy feeling that prevented him from touching it. The book was about medium thickness, and if Naruto could guess, it couldn't be more then maybe two hundred pages thick.

Finally he resigned himself to touch it. With tiny fingers and hands, he wrapped his grip upon the cover. It was light, which was good, as no one liked heavy books…especially Naruto. The boy lifted an eyebrow in curiosity as he flipped open the cover. The Title was now proudly displayed on the first page.

_'So __you __want__ to be a __Shinobi__?' _it read. Naruto blinked and then almost laughed. Of course he wanted to be a shinobi, what kind of stupid question was that. But Naruto told himself it was only a title and flipped to the next page.

_Welcome dear reader! If you are holding this book, I can only assume that you are completely hopeless in all fields pertaining to the __Shinobi__ profession. You are most likely blonde and stupid as well. But fear not for I shall help you!_

Naruto blinked again, and this time found thoughts of bitterness rising up in him. The book had actually just insulted him. He growled and read on.

_If you are still reading on, it means that you took little to no offense of me insulting your intelligence in the above paragraph. Perhaps you are even aware of the fact!_

_This i__s good as it will make our relationship easier and your goal all the easier to obtain. _

_And what is your goal you might ask?_

_"To be __Hokage__."_Naruto found himself answering in his mind.

_It's not something stupid…like being a __Hokage__, as even I can't perform miracles. And __let's__ face it, if you're desperate enough to read this book for help, than __Hokage__ is probably a far stretch for you. _

_No, your goal is and, for the better part of our relationship, will be to become a good __shinobi_

_First let me begin by __sayin__-_

Naruto closed the book and put it back on the pedestal. He found himself annoyed…with a BOOK. And that was only after a few sentences of text.

It was one thing to have adults insult your dreams, but another thing entirely to have an inanimate object do it. Frankly speaking, Naruto did not like the book…and most likely the person who wrote it.

He turned and left.

_"Guess I'll just have to try harder at the academy…or sneak into a better spot in the library…yeah…I like that idea better."_

Naruto jumped from the window, landing on the soft grass below. Placing his hands in his pockets he began to walk away. He would have to survey the library some more, to find a better entrance.

* * *

Naruto sat at Ichiraku ramen bar with a tired look on his face. He'd spent the better part of the day, looking for ways into the library…but to no avail. 

"THAT PLACE IS A GOD DAMN FORTRESS!!!!" he shouted, slamming his fist on the table. He growled while gritting his teeth, and if you looked close enough you could almost see the steam rising off him.

A bowl of ramen was placed in front of him, and he instantly cheered up. Splitting his chop sticks apart, he said his piece, and began to eat.

"Having trouble sneaking into the Hokage tower again?" asked old man Ichiraku with a grin on his face.

"Nwaa iwitttsss wausss dehee wibraireia!" stated Naruto with a mouth full of ramen.

"I see." '_I have no clue what he said!' _thought the old man.

Naruto swallowed the entire contents of his mouth, gulping it down with resistance. He banged on his chest a few times before speaking up again. "Yeah, I looked for a way to enter that place all day, but there were no openings. I even tried just walking in casually, but the librarian just tossed me out again."

"Oh so you were at the library." Said the old ramen vendor with a blush, at his own inability to understand Naruto. "Is that why you have that book?"

Naruto stopped eating his ramen, eyes wide as plates. He turned his attention to the bar stool on his left. To his immense horror, he saw a something very very familiar.

A black book with no title showing. "What the fu-"

"Why hello there Naruto, how was your day." Asked Ayame as she entered the ramen stand. Her arms were currently filled with grocery bags. Naruto blinked, his attention suddenly on her.

"F-fine." Stated Naruto.

She looked at him funny for a moment then asked a rather imposing question to the blonde. "Naruto, is that you book…you've finally taken up reading?" she said this with a kind laugh, and almost fond look. One might even call it proud.

The boy shook his head, as if denying the book even existed. "Nope!" he said. "And I have no clue how this got here…so you keep it."

Ayames face faltered and the book was shoved into her hands."Thanks, but I-"

Naruto was already long gone by then…

"He didn't pay his bill did he dad?"

Old man Ichiraku's eyebrow was twitching madly. "No…he did not…"

* * *

Naruto bolted down the streets of Konoha, his thoughts running a mile a minute. "It's just a coincidence…." He muttered to himself. 

He slowed his run and took a relaxing breath. He berated himself for letting his imagination get the best of him. Even if it was the same book, there could have been plenty of reasons for it to be in the ramen bar.

The blond started to laugh. People gave him funny looks as he did so. He blushed and then covered his face while coughing, trying to brush off the brief lapse of his social sanity.

With his composure reclaimed he took a brave step forward…and slipped.

The ground beneath him had suddenly seemed very loose. _"I slipped…are you kidding ME!" _he now thought from his position on the ground.

He picked himself up, sitting, and glared at the ground…as if it had wronged him.

His eyes, however, met a horrid sight.

"I slipped…on a book." He mumbled in disbelief. And it wasn't just any book, but a medium sized one with pure black binding. He hesitated briefly before grabbing it and opening it up. He was not going to lose his cool like he did last time, and freak out over nothing.

Besides…he'd never confirmed it was the same…

_'So you want to be a __Shinboi__?'_

The ridiculous title seemed more prominent now. And the sentence echoed throughout Naruto's mind.

With wide eyes and a surprised face, Naruto threw the book over his head. He didn't look to see where it landed, nor did he care. He got up stiffly, and walked away with robotic movements…he suddenly seemed completely lifeless…or at least spooked.

Two blocks later, he was once again reclaiming his sanity. His stiff movements loosened and he took a relaxing breath. He sat down on a near by bench, not out of exhaustion but for the simple moment he needed to return to straight thinking.

_"Someone's playing a joke on me…" _he thought. He leaned back against the bench, closing his eyes trying to picture who would try such a thing.

If he were to go by his enemies then….

"That narrows it down to about everyone…" he mumbled in distaste. "Such a stupid prank to."

Naruto lifted himself off the bench, only to freeze mid-stand. His had been placed on top of something in his attempt to get up. The elevation of the bench was now uneven, as his left had was firmly on the wood of the bench, where as his right had was lifted up an inch or to…on what was clearly not the bench.

His eyes slowly directed themselves to his right appendage. The blue orbs gazed almost blankly at a little black book.

He picked it up and opened to the first page.

_'So you want to be a __Shinobi__?'_

A silent wind blew through the area and Naruto gently closed the book. Coincidently a stray dog was walking by at that moment.

Naruto picked him up by the nape of his neck and gently probed the book in between the canine's jowls. The dog looked angry for a brief moment, but Naruto simply placed him on the ground and gave him a little shove in the opposite direction with his foot.

The dog ran away and Naruto was sure he could here paper ripping. He smiled pleased with himself, but the smile was entirely out of place on his pale face. Sweat was dripping in a comical fashion down his face.

His right eye gave a noticeable twitch.

_"No one would be stupid enough to keep up a lame prank like this…" _he told himself while turning to leave.

Déjà vu hit with ironical precision as Naruto felt something loose on the ground give way and slipping him up. He fell to the ground with a look of horror etched on his face. He didn't even allow himself time to stay on the ground to gain his bearings, his eyes searched frantically for the book…only to find a 500 yen coin(1).

The smiled on his face would have made the tooth fairy crap her pants. He gave a triumphant laugh, and thanked whatever high power existed for this reassuring plight.

He had slipped, but it was not because of the book. It was not because of the book because he had gotten rid of the book with the dog. The prank had ended, or the cycle had been broken. No matter what the case was, he no longer had to become paranoid because of a book.

_"My lucky day though." _He thought while picking up the coin. And as if fate or Kami was rewarding him for whatever reason, a vending machine was near by. The price of each item…ONLY 500 YEN!

_"__I c__ould use some green tea__ right about now__…even if it is canned."_ He immediately strutted over to the vending machine and placed his lucky wealth into the slot. With a quick click of a large button with an unmistakable picture of green tea, the machine began to work.

Several bangs could be heard coming from inside the machine, and Naruto placed his hand at the slot in expectant patience.

Cans are not square. Naruto knew this fact very well. Even so, it took his brain a moment to register what was now in his had.

_'So you want to be a __Shinobi__?' _

He read the words, confirming yet again what he already knew.

"AHHH!!!" he screamed. As he ran frantically with the book in hand. Instinct took over and before he knew it, he was doing something drastic.

* * *

Asuma was a man of simple pleasures. He enjoyed long games of shogi, moonlit nights, and barbeque with good friends. 

And smoking…he loved smoking.

So he usually reserves these pleasures for moments where peace overtakes him. Heck, even his common binge of smoking had its special moments. And this was just such a time.

Placing the drag between his lips he sparked his lighter.

"AHHH!!!"

He blinked and looked down the street in confusion. He saw a blond haired boy running his way, and he was apparently in a hurry.

As if planned the blonde dunked a book in his hands inside a barrel of oil, convenient placed against the side of a local restaurant. The oil was normally used for lighting the small paper lanterns the restaurant used as a gimmick.

What happened next was even more controversial…and now directly involved Asuma.

One moment his lighter had been in hand, exposed flame and all. And the next the blonde was running away with it, striking it against the oil drenched book.

The resulting blaze that occurred was indeed interesting. Especially when the blond threw the burning book carelessly over his head in a random direction.

Asuma's eyes widened.

_'Is he insane!!" _his mind practically shouted. Common sense dictated his actions and he quickly flunged himself in the direction the book had gone. To his luck it was well near where the boy had acquired the oil in the first place.

A flame meeting its fuel was never a good thing.

"Shit!" he cursed as he dived for the book. The odds had to have been one in one million, but the book was heading on a direct arch towards the pot of oil.

Asuma was a damn good shinobi, and that usually came with the ability to move quick in any situation. However, he was sure his superiors would forgive him for failing to respond to a blond maniac lighting a book on fire then throwing a lucky shot at a barrel of oil.

The book sunk into the black liquid and poor Asuma was no directly over the same barrel after his attempt to get the book. Subconsciously his arm continued on and sank into the oil to grab the book.

And all at once he waited for the flames to incinerate his vulnerable arm. He braced himself, turning his head away and closing his eyes. Panic etched on his face.

He was a damn good shinobi, so it was safe to say he used a Kawarmi to get away at that very moment as well, but one couldn't exactly stop their body's natural reaction to such things. So even a block away, he was still in the same position with a tense look on his face.

And to his chagrin no great blaze erupted.

He blinked and stared the now great distance away at the lone drum of oil…just as it had always been.

"What the hell?" he was beside the barrel of oil in a flash, he looked closely at the oils surface, inspecting it, as if waiting for it to go up in flames at any second.

_"I'm positive I saw the book go in their…what happened?"

* * *

_

Naruto moved panic stricken through the streets. _"Relax __Naruto__…just relax, you are overreacting completely!" _

Soon he was pacing around the front of his apartment complex. The night air was already sending a chill into his bones, but he would be damned if he entered his complex before his drunk of a land lord went to sleep.

"A stalking book is just insane!" said Naruto with a boisterous laugh. _"Someone probably had another copy and just left it at __Ichiraku__…the fact that it was the same book is just a coincidence."_

"Yeah just a coincidence." He assured himself, completely ignoring every other occurrence in which the book had been involved. He was very good with denile.

With his new found calm composure Naruto took an over exaggerated step towards his living complex, grin splitting his face.

He was then rather crudely struck in the face by an unknown object. He stood frozen, unsure of what had just happened. The grin held to his face.

"Ow." He said in delayed reaction. Then his brain finally caught up to him. "OW!! What the hell, who threw that!"

He was now rubbing his reddening nose, eyes scanning his surroundings.

No one was in sight.

"Damn cowards…" he mumbled in distaste. His blue eyes traveled down, finding the offending object used to cause him bodily harm.

It was a book…

It was black…

It was…

_"So you want to be a __Shinobi__?"_

And…

"IT'S STALKING ME!!!" he lifted his arms above his head, pivoting his body so as not to face the book. His eyes were glued to it, but his body seemed to be trying to get away from it. He sweat with nervous confusion; frantically slapping himself to see if it was all just a dream.

Several minutes and two swollen cheeks later, Naruto concluded that he was indeed awake. And the book was very much still their on the ground, open to the title page.

"And this book…" he muttered with a superstitious tone. "IS A DEMON!"

He hopped over the black bound book, fearing any and all contact with it, and jetted towards the stairs. He prayed that he was fast enough to make it to his room, before the 'book' could catch him.

He ripped his door open, slamming it shut milliseconds later. Lock after lock was quickly set in place after that. Naruto even propped a chair against the door knob for good measure. He turned his head in all directions, looking for any and all possible ways the 'book' could sneak into his room.

"The window…" he muttered in horror.

He ran to his bed and flung the mattress, and bed frame, in its entirety up against the window. He remained stock still, propping the bed up with his body. He couldn't let go.

If he did…

"THAT FREAKIN HAUNTED BOOK IS GOING TO GET ME!!!!"

Sanity had long left Naruto's person; leaving him nothing more then the twitching child of madness.

A light gurgle echoed through his empty apartment. He blinked and turned his head to the bathroom. All lights were currently off, giving the sound a detached source. Naruto couldn't even begin to understand what it could be.

His concentration now broken, he let go of the bed. It was by the luck of some sort of savant that it was propped up enough to avoid crashing down.

The gurgle sounded again, causing Naruto to tense. Aimlessly, he trekked towards his bathroom door. The darkness made it all the more difficult for him.

He fumbled around for the door knob, hands brushing over wood(Not that kind, Yaoi obssessed loons!). The cold rust made itself known immediately, and Naruto turned it with no time to spare.

As if a trigger, a gurgle sounded as the door opened. Naruto reacted with a small yelp, but regained enough sense to search for the light switch. He felt the wall of his bathroom, and flicked on the light.

The gurgle sounded again.

Naruto's eyes went wide. His toilet was bubbling over.

"Oh shi-"

The water exploded from the toilet all at once. Naruto's face was the object of horror as a black book appeared among the contents of the water. The flowing water carried it gently to his feet. It lightly tapped against his foot as it stopped.

To Naruto it was a declaration. The book stating 'hello again, fancy seeing you here.' With all the sarcasm of ditched friend making a point.

Naruto fell to his knees; comedic tears ran down his cheeks like mini-waterfalls.

"Fine…I'll read the stupid book."

He picked it up and flipped open the cover.

_"So you want to be a-"_

Naruto immediately turned the page. He knew the title of the book…he'd be damned if he ever forgot. His eyes skimmed down to where he left off.

_No, your goal is and, for the better part of our relationship, will be to become a good __shinobi_

_First, let me start__ off by saying that this book, while a library book, is nonreturnable. __So you are stuck with my wisdom whether you like it or not; isn't that great!_

Naruto felt his eye twitch and his tears increased.

_And on the off chance that you picked up this book with no intention of becoming a __shinobi__, then I have this to say…sucks to be you, as you are going to be one now! _

_Now you might be saying to yourself, "Mr. Book, being a __shinobi__ is dangerous and I don't want to die!" _

_Fear not! For we all die some day! _

_And I can guarantee it won't be nearly as glamorous as a __shinobi__ death. So why not enjoy this wonderful ride I am about to take you on._

Naruto had a sneaking suspicion the author was smiling mockingly as he wrote this.

_In fact,__ you should thank me, as I am making your dull, pathetic, shell of a life exc__iting and fruitful. You will see exotic places, meet interesting people, perhaps even fool around with a woman or two…unless you are into men…then I can't help you at all._

_I'm very sorry my gay friend…_

Naruto blinked, he did not need a book questioning his sexual orientation…not that he was really at an age where it was apparent. Seven year olds were hardly the people to ask about adult relationships.

_Please excuse me, as I think I just went off on a pointless ramble. I tend to do that from time to time. More importantly, I feel it is time that I answer the question you are most likely asking. _

_How can 'So you want to be a __S__hinobi__?' help me? _

_Well, other then the clear message the title sends, the answer should still be rather obvious. This book, and by extension myself, will neatly and simply outline what it takes to be a __shinobi__, so that even an idiot can understand! _

_And I will write the rest of this book under the assumption that you are an idiot. _

Naruto gritted his teeth; he would kill this author if he ever met him. He made an attempt to close the book, only to find the binding held stiff. He stared at it curiously, putting more strength into it. The book held strong, not so much as closing an inch.

Plagued by the strangeness of this book, he read on for answers.

_This is a book that will demand your respect and, like a hall monitor on a power trip, it will force you to follow a certain set of rules. Failure to comply with these rules will result in…rather unpleasant occurrences. _

_Rule 1: Your eyes must be glued to the knowledge of this book at all times. Whether you be walking down the street, on the crapper, or having sex! You must read on, even if you are only skimming through one of my pointless rants. __This is important._

Naruto was about ready to throw the book away, only to look at his destroyed toilet and be reminded of the books persistence. He read on…it _was_ a rule after all.

_Rule 2: Follow my instructions to the letter. No matter how eccentric, irrelevant, and perverted they might seem. They will keep you alive…_

_Rule 3: Never __tell__ anyone of this book. I know, I know, it's a crappy marketing strategy but it is all for your benefit. You are this books owner, and no one else. Should someone else even so much as glance at my brilliant passages, their eye__s will rot out from their skull__ and maggots will bleed into their brain…_

Naruto looked utterly terrified.

_Only kidding, I'm not nearly THAT psychotic. __However, they will be unable to read the exact words written in this wonderful testament to my knowledge. They will instead read something they find more appealing…at least until the book leaves them to find you. _

_And believe me, it WILL leave them and it WILL__ find you…_

_Rule 4: This one is by far the most important. Never EVER under any circumstances or otherwise, refer to this holy guide as a 'self-help' book. Branding it as such implies that you are the one helping yourself. _

_**I**__ am the one helping you and never forget that. It is by my great, wonderful, totally awesome knowledge alone that will ma__ke you great. _

_You would be a hopeless idiot without me._

Naruto was a brash one who would gladly pick a fight, even if it was with an inanimate object. He'd never felt so much hate for single piece of literary art.

_Hey, hey, calm down. It's okay__, because we'r__e all friends here. I told you right __from the start that I would write__ this under the assumption you were an idiot._

Naruto wasn't sure what he hated more; the way the author seemed to know how Naruto would react to every word, or that he did it all by assuming the one reading it was an idiot…thus meaning Naruto was an idiot as he was correct in all his assumptions.

_With that out of the way, I can safely say that you are ready to start down the proper path of a __shinobi__. I can only imagine what you were doing up until now…_

_I shiver at the thought. _

_Well let__ us__ begin shall we._

_A __shinobi__ is a __shinobi__, period. _

_I say this because the ninja world has, for some reason, degenerated to the point of needing a rank system. __Genin, __Chuunin, __Jonin__, etc.__ All of it is useless as far as I'm concerned. _

_While the rank system conveniently informs friend and foe alike as to just how strong you are, or at least ballparks it for them, it also causes the individual to be shadowed by his title._

_Don't get me wrong, I love bragging rights myself, but the second you base yourself off something as mediocre as a documented rank you begin to fall short of what you and I hope to accomplish. _

_Actions mean everything…_

_Get the job done, no matter how terribly done it seems. _

_If you're alive and the mission is stamped complete, then what else matters? _

Naruto's butt was going numb from sitting on the floor for an extended period of time. He lifted himself up, eyes never leaving the book for fear of the consequences, and walked to his bed…still propped against the window.

He tapped it lightly and it fell back into its original position…albeit loudly and with a crack now in one of the legs. "What is this book talking about??? How can I get respect if everyone thinks I'm doing a crappy job." Talking to himself had now becoming his only median to separate his thoughts from the words he was reading in the book.

_Now you might be thinking, "Hey hold on Mr. Book, that's not a very good thing to say if you are trying to make a __shinobi__. Shouldn't you try and make it a point to make them the best they can be? To have them grow to be strong and respected?" _

_If this is __you, then well, go screw yourself. _

_I'm not a miracle worker, and thus I set low standards. How else do you think I can claim this book has a 95 percent success rate?! _

_I'm going to make sure you're not a __baka__, if that is any conciliation…_

_Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself here, or maybe I'm just being __too__ broad with what I'm saying. _

_Lets__ start with the basics. _

_Enter the academy! _

_Already in it you say? Then don't read anymore until __you're__ on your way to class!_

_See you tomorrow. _

The book snapped shut, causing Naruto to reel back in surprise. Naruto stared at it blankly for a while, and despite his gratefulness that it did so, he tried to open it. He was met with similar results as his attempts to close the book initially.

With a sigh, he carelessly threw the book to the floor. He lost sight of it, but by then he was already closing his eyes.

* * *

A/n: And thus it starts. 

(1) I have no clue what 'Naruto' currency is, nor do I know the value of Yen and how much it can get you. Thus I am borrowing the name 'Yen' but having the value be completely random...so don't look into it.

Now lets play a game. Who can tell me where and what spelling and grammatical mistakes I've made in this chapter. Doing so will make you awesom in the eyes of...just do it okay. This does not apply to authors notes.


End file.
